TV REVIEW: 'Penny Dreadful' is Just Regular Dreadful -- The 5 Most Disappointing Things About the New Showtime Series

I can't remember the last time a new series had me as excited as Penny Dreadful did. A macabre TV show set in late Victorian London and filled with characters inspired by so-called "penny dreadfuls," or popular horror fiction of the day? Yes please! That sounds great! Or so I thought until I watched the first episode.

Here are the five things that most disappointed me about the first episode of Penny Dreadful:


1. It's not really British. 

Though it's billed as a joint venture with Sky, it's basically a Showtime project. That alone is not enough to discredit it--after all, Showtime is responsible for shows like Nurse Jackie and Dexter...though the latter went on about three seasons longer than it should have--but it's enough to make me nervous. They may overdo it, try too hard, and make it entirely too glossy and American to fully capture the creepiness I was hoping for. If the first episode is any indication, that's exactly what they did.


2. The opening credits.

 Oh they tried, didn't they? They tried so hard to make their opening as creepy and ghoulish as first season American Horror Story, what with its barrage of unsettling images. But the series of gratuitous grossness is undercut by the flat instrumental music and in the end it just seems desperate.


3. Josh Hartnett. 

Seriously, has Josh Hartnett ever been in anything that wouldn't have been made better by his absence? It's a controversial opinion, I know, but I stand by it. His squinty, pubic hair face, perpetually greasy hair and charmless mumble are just the worst. Ugh. I wish I could go back in time and re-cast everything he's ever done with someone else (Ooh, maybe Jason Momoa. Yum.).


4. Eva Green's accent. 

Congratulations, French actress Eva Green! Years of English lessons have allowed you to perfectly capture the sound of an American actress pretending to be British. It's something, at least. Maybe you can make up for it with a judicious use of your Super Serious Face. When in doubt, pout.


5. Everything else.

By that I mean they threw EVERYTHING in there. Monsters! Vampires! Underworld! Spiders! Resurrection Men! Carnivals! Plus fifty more things! It's just...ugh. Too many ideas, not enough plot. And while American Horror Story has handled this masterfully (particularly in Season One), Penny Dreadful (so far) has not.


The one bright spot? Timothy Dalton.

 He's eminently watchable as a charming villain, or a villainous hero, or whatever variation of that role he happens to be in. In the DVD commentary of the movie Hot Fuzz, Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg say "Timothy Dalton looks like a cartoon fox." Indeed.


Final verdict? I just can't. 

I may, however, check out the show's Goodreads Book Club, which encourages viewers to read the books that inspired the series. So far they've only added three books though. That might be another bad sign.

BOOK REVIEW: The Mangle Street Murders (The Gower St. Detective: Book 1), by M.R.C. Kasasian

Research always shows in writing. If an author skimps on their research before writing a novel, it can ruin the impact of the whole book. While this may not be true for every book, it is always true for historical novels. Always. After reading some truly stellar historical mysteries set in Victorian England (plus several great non-fiction books about the time period and its real life crimes), as well as some truly awful ones, I approach every historical mystery with some healthy skepticism. Will this be as good as Ann Granger's Inspector Ross series? Or Alex Grecian's first book? Or will it be a mess, like Mrs. Poe? Or Alex Grecian's second book? I'm ever hopeful, but I've been disappointed so many times.

In the case of The Mangle Street Murders, I'm undecided. On the one hand, I'm not sure I completely trust the author's research, but on the other hand I'm not sure if it's factually incorrect or just poorly written. It sometimes seems that the whole book is written with modern values in mind, just "aged back" with old-timey words like "pianoforte."

One character says she didn't want the indignity of "going into service" so she earns extra money by teaching pianoforte and French language instruction, as well as "taking in children when their parents are unable to care for them." I'm not sure I'm buying it. In 1882, would the middle class have been sufficiently established to allow for people to need pianoforte and French lessons for their children, but without them just hiring a governess or nanny? I'm skeptical. I think the working classes may indeed have left their children in the care of neighbours while the mothers went to factory jobs, but I don't think they'd be concerned about paying extra for French lessons. And I think pianoforte lessons would have only been for the wealthy, and those people had staff for those sorts of things.

Maybe I'm wrong, but it's just one example in the book that made me think, "Are you SURE about that?" Like I said, I didn't trust the author.

Also, the "personal detective" character of Sidney Grice was, as other reviewers have noted, not easy to like. I also kept seeing his name as "Sidney Grace" which reminded me of "Sophia Grace," that British child who sings Nicki Minaj songs in a tutu. Remember her? It's who I was picturing the whole time I was reading this book. (Oh lord, that girl has a movie. YouTube has a lot to answer for.)

I guess if I had liked the book more, these little things wouldn't have bothered me. But I just wasn't that into it, which is why I had time to wonder about the details and get lost in tangents.

In the end, I thought it was only okay. I think the expression I'm looking for is "damning with faint praise."

BOOK DETAILS:
The Mangle Street Murders
Author: M.R.C. Kasasian
Series: The Gower St. Detective (Book 1)
Publisher: Pegasus/Open Road
Publication Date: February 6, 2014
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Source: NetGalley

BOOK REVIEW: The Revenant of Thraxton Hall (The Paranormal Casebooks of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle), by Vaughn Entwistle

The Revenant of Thraxton Hall:

The Paranormal Casebooks 

of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle 

by Vaughn Entwistle

Publisher: Minotaur Books

Pub. Date: March 25, 2014

Source: NetGalley

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Eeee! I loved this book so much! It was the most fun book I've read all month (I read a lot of books, so that's definitely a compliment).

I love detective fiction set in Victorian England ('VicLit,' I like to call it) but lately I seem to have found all the worst examples of the genre. I was starting to despair. I'm so glad I found this book. It was like a palate cleanser after a bad meal, or in this case, after bad writing.

Not only is The Revenant of Thraxton Hall well written, it's SO MUCH FUN. It's like a Scooby Doo episode for nerdy adults. Vaughn Entwistle has Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and Oscar Wilde investigating a murder in a haunted castle. There are secret passageways, spooky portraits, levitating psychics, blind butlers, ghosts, guests wearing masks, and--oh my god!--a family crypt with coffins! Not to mention a mirror maze, a monkey running amok, a woman allergic to sunlight... Oh it's just so much fun I can't stand it!

It may seem strange that I loved this book so much when I criticized other books in the genre for having too many plot points (The Black Country), for being historically inaccurate (Mrs. Poe), for having an ill-conceived ghost story (The Little Stranger), or unrealistic characters (The Mangle Street Murders). So what makes The Revenant of Thraxton Hall different? Simple. IT'S WELL WRITTEN.

If a story is well written it could take place in a unicorn colony on the moon and I'd find it believable. If a story is poorly written it could be an autobiography and I'd question its veracity.

My only complaint is that J.M. Barrie didn't factor into the story as much as I'd have liked. He was with Conan Doyle and Wilde in the beginning, and I think it would have been fun if he'd been with them at the haunted castle. They could be a supernatural crime fighting trio, with Sherlock Holmes showing up as the secret advisor only Arthur Conan Doyle can see.

I'm already fantasy casting the voice actors for a cartoon version of this book (can anyone say Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie?).

This review originally appeared on my other blog, Cozy Little Book Journal.

TV REVIEW: I just started watching 'Vera' and I'm noticing a pattern...

I started watching the British detective show 'Vera,' based on the Detective Chief Inspector Vera Stanhope novels by Ann Cleeves. I'd been avoiding it, but if there's a British detective show on TV sooner or later I'm going to watch it. It's not bad, but I'm noticing some trends. Here are some things you can rely on in every episode:

• The cold open will involve a murder, even though it will often look a little like an accident or a suicide.

• Brenda Blethyn (as Vera) will use her "almost crying vibrato" voice, which is probably the most annoying sound on the planet (I'm exaggerating, but I still haven't forgiven her for that Law & Order: SVU episode where she played Linnie Malcolm, the woman with the world's most irritating whine).

• There will be a second murder. Count on it.

• After a series of red herrings, the "real" answer will be something hidden deep in the victim's past, and will invariably involve someone they were supposed to trust. This makes it pointless to try to guess the ending too early.

• Some small detail will cause Vera or her crew to have an "aha" moment, which will result in a mad dash to confront the killer "before it's too late."

• I will lose track of what they're talking about--and cease to care--somewhere around the 1-hour mark, but will keep watching because it's a lovely, cozy atmosphere. Still, at an hour and half without commercials, each episode is loooooong.

I haven't read any of Ann Cleeves' novels, but after watching 'Vera' and the other show based on her stories, 'Shetland' (which is even better!), maybe I should. She seems like she's kind of the grittier M.C. Beaton. She even has one series with a Scottish male police officer in the Highlands (or Sheltand islands) and one with a middle aged female detective in England. Sound familiar?